SCRATCH BUTTRESS

Hahahaa..

Anyone else wonder where the hell “swear words” came from and who decided they were bad?

My Mom said that I’m wasting my life playing all these video games… that’s ok, I still have more lives! ^_^

My girlfriend said we can’t hang out this weekend because she doesn’t exist…

They say it’s better to laugh than to cry. Tried telling that to the guys at the funeral as they were kicking me out…

If you park next to me like an asshole, I’ll make sure to open my door like an asshole and ding your car.

Hearing a noise when your home alone and are like, I’m ready to kick some ass.

Girl: Can you come kill this bug? Boy: You called me in here for this little ass bug?
*BUG STARTS JUMPING*
Boy: OH SH*T MOVE B*TCH!!

”Don’t move There’s something in your hair” You: GET IT OUT , GET IT OUT, GET IT OUUUUT.

You know you’re ugly when you call yourself ugly and no one disagrees with you.

How to drop hints that you like a guy: Walk up to him and start taking your clothes off. He’ll get the idea.